As I’m approaching my departure date, I’m becoming more nervous and feeling more unprepared than ever. I’m getting constant reminders from numerous people that soon… I’ll no longer be home. I get asked every day, “When are you leaving?!” I hate the reminders! I’ve been trying not to think so much of leaving but more about arriving.
But that’s been freaking me out just as much, if not more…
DETAILS! I forgot about all the details I need to worry about when moving away from home. This weekend will be dedicated to packing my car full of all the things I want to take. If it doesn’t fit, I can’t take it! That’s a horrible thought.
What’s making me even more sad is that I’ve been packing the stuff I don’t want to take and putting it in the basement so my family has an extra room to use… for whatever. I wasn’t asked to do this; my mom was kind of offended and hurt when I told her what I was doing. Poor mommy.
I figured it’d be nice, since when (and if) I come back, I plan to move out. My stuff will be all packed up so it’s one less thing I have to worry about. Wait…
MOVE OUT??? Temporarily was fine, but now I want to leave home permanently???
Sounded like a good idea at the time… Welcome to life, Kate.
I’m not new to these feelings of panic though. I’m reminded of when I first started college and basically any class that I’ve taken that I thought was too difficult for me. A feeling of urgency and self-doubt. It’s the feeling of… being a college student. Which, I’m beginning to find, doesn’t stop with being a college student. I guess I’m realizing it’s going to follow me throughout the rest of my life.
I sound like such a downer, but that’s not my goal here. My goal is to encourage you to push through this feeling. I also want you to recognize that you’re not the only one experiencing this stomach turning bundle of emotions.
If only we could have a Pepto-Bismol cure. *sings and dances* Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, college students, diarrhea! (Yay for a new jingle for CCC!) If you’re unfamiliar with that jingle, I’m sorry that you live under a rock. Here’s a reference. :D
Did I really just side-track to that? Yes. I. did.
My point is, when in this situation of experiencing “college student symptoms” I try to remember the results I’ve encountered when pushing through.
My favorite was when I waited until my last semester (for my first degree) to take my lab science. After completely failing (by my own standards) the first half of the semester, I pushed through. I knew I could do better. I studied harder, got help from the instructor and dedicated myself to that class. I ended up getting a 99/100 on the final!
Is there a time that you felt like you didn’t have the will-power to do something, but ended up exceeding your own expectations?
Kate
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