Communicating Respectfully

By Tammy VanVleck

This week’s Dignity and Respect focus is on communicating respectfully with those around us. Merriam-Webster says to communicate means to “share”, “to impart knowledge of”, “to make known.”  The definition of respect is “a relation or reference to a particular thing or situation, an act of giving particular attention, high or special regard (esteem).”

It is so important to think about the words we say and how we communicate with those around us. We live in a world where there is much diversity about values, how we should live our lives, what is important to us as individuals. I’ve learned it is so important to respect these things about people.  When communicating respectfully with others it is important to keep these things in mind and to “give particular attention” to how we convey our genuineness to those we are communicating with.  A famous quote by Maya Angelou says, “At fifteen life taught me undeniably that surrender, in its place, was as honorable as resistance, especially if one had no choice.” Of course we always have a choice when communicating. Sometimes it is better to try to be open-minded in a conversation than to create debate and make someone feel disrespected for their thoughts and ideas.

Not only is it important to think about the words we say it is also important to think about the tone we use. When we respect others we want to communicate in a way that shows compassion and understanding. A couple more famous quotes by Maya Angelou I found interesting and go well with this topic are “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but will never forget how you made them feel.” When someone has communicated with me I hope they walk away feeling respected and feel like someone was really interested in what they had to say. The other quote says, “Words mean more than what is set down on paper. It takes a human voice to infuse them with deeper meaning.”  If our words and our tone don’t match we are risking not communicating respectfully.

Hopefully this blog has been helpful in learning a little about communicating respectfully.

JUST ASK!

Having been a new student myself, I’m all too familiar with the daunting task of getting acclimated to a new environment; new professors, new peers, new place, etc. For those of you who don’t know, this year the Admissions office team has been promoting a Dignity & Respect campaign (Google it!) and this week’s promotion is “ask”.

A lot of us are raised to believe that independence is a much desired outcome of our struggles. I’m going to go against the grain here, and tell you all that asking for help, asking for clarification, for directions, or anything else is not a weakness! I can’t stress this enough! One of the many things that make Corning so great is that there are people willing to assist you around every corner. Not taking advantage of such resources just makes reaching your goals that much harder!

Let me tell you a secret… when you graduate, and are handed your diploma; it’s not going to say “Congrats! You did it without asking for help!” It’s going to look just like everyone else’s. That being said, I encourage all of you (new and returning students, alike) to utilize all of the resources here on campus. If you’re not familiar with them, stop in at the Math Learning Center (S113 or U111 in Elmira), it’s a great (and usually pretty quiet!) place to do your homework, and ask questions (they also have practice exams, which are a great way to stay ahead of the curve!).

If you’re not taking a math course this semester, swing by the Writing Center! (C207 or U110 in Elmira) It’s not just for English Comp! Any writing assignments, for any classes; they can help with brainstorming, formatting/citing sources, or maybe you just need a computer to use, and they’re there if you need them! Maybe you need tips on studying, want to form a study group, or need help with one of your psych classes… go to the Academic Study Center! If you don’t know where that it is, it’s in the basement of the library (or U120 in Elmira). Some of you may not have had classes in the Science Building yet, but we also have a Science Learning Center as well! (Nursing majors? Welcome to your second home…)

Once again I challenge all of you to make use of these resources; if you can pick up even just one useful tip or habit from any of them, that’ll bring you one step closer to success, it’s well worth it…and there’s a super-fantastic prize in it for you, from yours truly (it’s a high-five for a decision well-made).

Tara

Don't Quit by Tammy VanVleck

Even though my journey has taken me a different path, I would like to give a shout out to all my friends in the Nursing Program (and all nursing students). As a former Nursing student I understand that one of the most challenging programs at CCC is the Nursing Program but it is rewarding for those who make it to the end. I would just like to encourage you to hang in there to the end. IT WILL BE WORTH IT WHEN YOU FINALLY ACCOMPLISH YOUR GOALS!!!

Think of it this way, you are half-way through the semester and some of you are almost ¾’s of the way to becoming angels. 

I wish you all the best of luck and leave you with this poem:

“The Don’t Quit Poem” ~ Author Unknown

“When things go wrong as they sometimes will,

When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,

When the funds are low and the debts are high,

And you want to smile but have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit,

Rest, if you must but don’t you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,

As every one of us sometimes learns,

And many a failure turns about,

When he might have won had he stuck it out;

Don’t give up though the pace seems slow—

You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than,

It seems to a faint and faltering man,

Often the struggler has given up,

When he might have captured the victor’s cup,

And he learned too late when the night slipped down,

How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out—

The silver lining in the clouds of doubt,

And you can never tell how close you are,

So stick to the fight when hardest hit—

It’s when things are worst you MUST NOT QUIT.”

Where has the time gone?

Thank you to everyone who responded to my first ever blog. I hope it was helpful and informative. I enjoy your responses and interaction.

This week I’d like to focus on something none of us, whether we are older students, younger students or somewhere in between, don’t have enough of. We are already into the middle of the semester and it seems like we just started. Soon it will be time to register for the spring semester. Let’s not go there yet though.

Here are some tips on managing your time that have worked for me: organize, organize, organize. If you can organize your time then you can maximize what you can or need to accomplish. The best school tool I found I have is the daily planner that was available at the beginning of the semester [if you didn’t get yours, go to the Commons, Student Life, show your school ID and get one!]. This was one of the first things I looked for when returning from summer break. With this I can write out my schedule of classes, work, and homework that needs to be completed. I can see the days off that are coming up, college events are written in, and I have all the information I need to be organized. If I can see my schedule in front of me I can figure out where to fit in time for extra studying, projects that need to be done, work, and time for my family. All of these are important to our success.

Something else that has helped me manage my time is using campus resources such as the library, learning centers, and computer labs. I found if I can accomplish some or most of my work on campus then I can maximize my time at home with my family. It’s hard when trying to focus on too many things at once, which being a full-time student sometimes almost feels like a requirement. However, if you can divide your time wisely it will lead to less stress and a more enjoyable experience at home and at school. If you are able to spend time on campus to do your work, use places like the library or the new learning center. I don’t recommend the Commons for studying, but it is a great place to relax and give your brain a rest – which brings me to my next point.

It is important to schedule yourself some down time. It is hard to do when you have projects due or major exams to study for, but your brain needs a break. I’ve found I shut down after studying for too long and it’s not effective studying anyway. Allow yourself some time for things you enjoy, and then come back to studying or the project you are working on. Be sure to set a time limit, it will help avoid procrastination. One last suggestion is squeeze in a little study time in places you wouldn’t think of: when you are cooking supper and have to wait a few minutes for the food to cook, pull out your study sheet and look it over while you’re waiting. If you are waiting to go to class you can do the same. Every time you do this you are exposing your mind to the material you need to learn and you feel more prepared.

I hope these tips on time management are helpful. If you have any other suggestions please share them with our fellow students. Time is something we can’t ever get back. Making the most of what we have is so important to our success and to enjoying a little less stress in our lives to help to accomplish all that we need to accomplish.

Tammy

32-Day Commitment

I can do it. I’ll lose weight this semester. I won’t fall off the wagon again. I am strong willed. I can do this. I’m not really sure if this positive affirmation stuff is really doing any good, but it can’t hurt, right? I’m taking human biology this semester, and one of the projects we’re doing is a “32-day commitment”. For 32 days I have to change a bad habit of mine, or gain a new positive one. My first thought was to try, one more time, something that’s already failed once; “being vegetarian” for 3 days of the week has had a positive effect on me before, when I stick to it. Not only did I lose weight, but I also had elevated moods, more energy, less stomach pain, and an over-all healthier me. I feel like this is a good start, but as I’ve learned in Psychology class, activities that are intrinsically motivating are far more likely to be done. Lucky for me, there are going to be Zumba classes on campus this semester! If you don’t know what Zumba is, I highly recommend you look into it! It’s a Latin-inspired dance that also incorporates hip-hop, salsa, mambo, martial arts, and some belly dance moves. It’s going to be offered twice a week, in the bottom of the brand new fitness center, at 6:45 in the morning. Voila! My new positive habit! I will drag myself out of bed at five a.m. twice a week to come to campus and dance my butt off… literally! Wish me luck, people!

Thoughts from a Non-Traditional Student

Being a non-traditional student, and by that I mean an older student, going back to school after being out for over twenty years, was a bit overwhelming. Even though I was excited for my new adventure, there were a lot of decisions that needed to be made and questions to answer. For instance, “What would I go to school for?”,“Where will I get the money to go to school?”, “Am I too old to go to school?”, “Will I fit in with the other students?”  The answers I found for myself were: 1) CCC has a program for almost every interest and what you thought you wanted to do may change. 2) There are financial aid programs to assist with the financial aspects of schooling. 3) No, I’m not too old, and, 4) There is so much diversity at the college it’s hard not to find somewhere to fit in. If I can go back to school and be successful, anyone can.

CCC offers so many opportunities and provides so many resources to be successful, even if you need to change your original plan. The options are endless so failure doesn’t have to be one of them. I’ve discovered college isn’t high-school, the learning centers are for everyone, and because it is a smaller college the CCC instructors are very approachable and willing to help you succeed. As an older student I find I am more focused and ready to make the money I’m spending for my education work for me. Going to school when you’re older does have its advantages.

Throughout the semester I would like to offer tips and suggestions to help make your semester a successful one at CCC, and to help those who are deciding if college is right for them, to possibly see returning to college at CCC is the opportunity they have been waiting for.

Welcome all students, particularly “non-traditional” (older) students. Best of luck in your studies this semester.

Tammy VanVleck    tvanvlec@corning-cc.edu